How to Cook a Turkey
-or-
“Baste makes Waste”
paraphrased
from an article by Lori Miller Fox
Parents of
children with special needs are all too aware of differences. Because of
this, they get especially tired of being asked to keep up with other
people's expectations. Finding the time or the patience to entertain for
holidays, for example, is one luxury they can't always afford; however,
many choose to spend their time in just this way – and they deserve to
be applauded. So, to all the parents of special needs kids reading this,
spend the holidays (heck spend every day) in a way that is right for you and your family. If you want to entertain, do so – your way.
Whether you go out, cook, or carry in, always bring laughter to the table.
Some turkey-cooking methods—
 |
How an
unfit school nurse cooks a turkey – Says it doesn't look right and
sends it home.
|
|
How
closed-minded case managers cook turkeys – Get everyone together in
a big room, ask for everyone's opinion, and then cook it the way they
planned to all along.
|
|
How an
uncooperative Special Education Director cooks a turkey – Argues
with you that you don't need a turkey.
|
|
How a
lazy teacher cooks a turkey – Leaves it raw and hopes, when it’s
covered with enough gravy, no one will notice.
|
| How a hostile teacher cooks a turkey –
turns the heat up too high until it melts down, then, throws it out. |
|
How a
school bus driver cooks a turkey – Starts late, goes too fast, and
then loses it in the oven.
|
|
How an
unqualified school occupational therapist cooks a turkey – Doesn't
cook the whole turkey, just cooks the wings.
|
|
How an
incompetent school psychologist cooks a turkey – Says it does not
lend itself to cooking, and then blames it on the bird.
|
|
How
disinterested general education providers cook a turkey – Cook a
ham, they do not know how to cook a turkey and it is not their job to learn
how to cook a turkey.
|
|
How
aloof Superintendents cook a turkey – Have it catered, because they
don’t want to get their hands dirty.
|
|
How an
inadequate school speech therapist cooks a turkey – Doesn't care
what it tastes like, as long as it's swallowed.
|
|
How
aides cook a turkey – Make sure that the turkey does not irritate
the teachers, staff, or other students while it's cooking.
|
|
How
inept school Physical Therapists cook a turkey – They don’t. They
just can't get their minds off why it doesn't have good head control.
|
|
How an
inferior transition coordinator cooks a turkey – Why bother? The
side dishes are good enough.
|
|
How a
reluctant tech team cooks a turkey – It never gets started. They're still evaluating which
is the most effective way, gas or electric.
|
|
How a
good teacher cooks a turkey – Cuts it up into bite-size pieces and
cooks them separately to each child's individual taste.
|
|
How
parents of special needs children cook a turkey – Cook a turkey?
Yeah, like they have that kind of time! (And hats off to all of you who
find the time to do just that.)
|
